For those of you who have worked with me or read my dissertation, you know that one aspect, one of many that sometimes may pertain to an underlying issue of IC is the bonding relationship between mother and child–or lack there of. 

This relationship is fundamental to our self esteem, the development of who we are, and the well being of our health. If this relationship is not a nurturing one, then changes may sometimes occur in a young child’s emotional and intellectual development that may in turn cause physiological changes.

These physiological changes can create a cascade of events that ultimately lead to IC.

Conversely, recognizing this dynamic retrospectively is equally important. Because, as we cannot change that which has already happened, we can change what tomorrow brings. And, one way of changing what has passed is forgiveness. If we hold on to the anger and the sadness that we feel was perpetrated against us, we become victims and we internalize those negative feelings into our bodies and they perpetuate disease.

True forgiveness is quite difficult. But, when we are able to achieve it, it brings with it, a release of the negativity and that turns into elation and power. Those are tremendous strengths that we may use as positives in our lives to sooth the once open wounds in our hearts.

As adults, and especially as adult women, we need to learn to fill the chasms that we feel have been created by the lacking of love and encouragement by our mothers (or sometimes fathers).

In celebrating mother’s day, we need to honor our mothers for what they are–not what we would have wanted them to be. When they created and raised us, I am certain it was not their intention to do a bad job. All mothers do the best they can with what they have. And mothering is difficult work. A hug part of mothers day is loving who brought us into the world and appreciating that they did what they could to bring us up. From there, it is our responsibility.
 
Love and appreciation are soothing attributes that we may all be able to benefit from. So, let’s all say thank you to our mothers and if we are ourselves mothers sooth our wounds through
creating a greater sense of self esteem and bonding to the next generation.

The most important things are love, acknowledgement, and forgiveness-isn’t that we hope others will give us as well? In the end, none of us are perfect!

Happy Mothers Day!