I find that I have different versions of the same conversations daily and I am going to do my best to comment on them because I think bringing up some of these points may be helpful.

The struggle towards wellness is a difficult road, especially when there is little support coming from family and friends. It is common to face a lot of adversity of opinion in choosing a path of alternative health as a way of breaking through the condition of any chronic disease, but, especially IC.

I find that many people cheat, not because they want to, but, because they are embarrassed to decline food or drink that is offered in the company of others who either do not know about their condition or do not approve of the way in which he or she has chosen to treat it. First, you don’t need to tell anyone other than your spouse and second you need approval from only yourself. When you go to a restaurant or someone’s house, use words like “allergies” or I decided not to eat that for a while. There is no need to draw attention to yourself or the details of your health.

If you are being defeated or intimidated by disapproving loved ones into doing something that would not otherwise be your choice, this is an indication of giving the other people around you more credit than you give yourself. This happens, in my opinion, because of the lack of self worth that is commonly developed through poor parent child bonding in early youth. This is only worsened by a person facing disease and feeling even less worthy due to his or her illness.

In all adversity, but, perhaps especially one which involves an illness such as IC, one is left to question, “why me?”, “what meaning could this bring to my life?”. But, when one looks deeper at the level of growth that occurs in the struggle of dealing with such a thing, the answer begins to become more clear.

Of course this is a physical illness, and I am the last to suggest otherwise. However, each of us is the culmination of our life experiences starting from early youth. And, how we deal with our lives and our health and our disease is a part of how we untangle the web of our illness. It is all a part. 

In looking at how we may undermine our own well-being on behalf of the feelings of others around us perhaps we can see an opportunity for change and growth that will affect us in more ways than only IC.
Perhaps that is a way to change the level of our own self worth to the core of our being and it will then affect every part of our lives and our relationships. The net result of such a change could essentially make us feel much stronger, and more confident and reach into every area of our life.

Be positive about making life long changes that you are now incorporating as not only a part of your current healthcare, but, as a part of your life-style choice. Be confident that it is OK to walk a slightly different path than your friends or loved ones. Learn to express what is important to you without judging or offending people especially those you feel judged or offended by. These are all steps towards making you stronger and making your treatment work for you.

Most people don’t understand IC. Most people don’t understand the kinds of diet and lifestyle changes that you may be making to have a healthier life for you and your family. But, most people are not you. Be the best person you can be and don’t worry that you are not like everyone else. Feel good about being a little different because it makes you the best person you can be, and that is all you expect from yourself.

Don’t think about when you can get well enough to begin abusing your body again with the habits that got you sick in the first place. Choose a new path both mentally and physically. Love your loved ones for who they are and ask that they love you for who you are. And, if they don’t understand you, understand that they can’t. And most importantly, don’t think for a moment that it isn’t OK that they may not approve of what you think or what you are doing. Everyone has the right to their ideas and philosophies and the right not not agree with others around them. That doesn’t mean that you can not coexist in peaceful, loving relationships.

Just be you. It may be that you never were made to feel like that is a wonderful thing, but it is, and you are!

 Dr. Brizman